Night With Confession

What's wrong with you? You should change!  Be a MAN! You are not suppose to be like that!

Phrases by phrases cutting through my wound opening it wide and spreading the pain more. I can't help but to agree and think about it. So, I'm blessed with wonderful family, unique voice, different appearance, amazing friends, great advising technique but without knowledge. However, you're missing another piece, 7 years of life without drama but dramas from close friends. What? Why? I have nothing in me yet i helped people? I want to be helped! I want all the experience and lousy time but i don't. God is loving me too much to let me suffer that way but the another so that i will grow ever strong than anyone else. 

Another missing piece, is not me who doesn't want to change and following fate IS i don't know how to fight it back! Now i know but how strong and determine i can get to fight it? Time tells. When all the fate is tricking me, when all the luck is gone, when all wishes are not coming, inside and deep down i have hope. Hope with no way to go a new way appear and leading me into a new place where things are different from now and the way it should be. 

For the more(furthermore), Lord bless me with the heart to soul to care about you and why not blessing others with it? Because He knows that i can handle it better and probably suitable than any others. But you are to be cared nothing MORE or LESS than that! I have no autorithy to ignore that call but if you take it for granted and start to make that caring you is such a big deal than i CAN turn away and let whoever is there left to take care of you. Be grateful when someone is actually caring about you! Not thinking that why you cared so much? Don't get it? Then don't need to get it. Plus, you're not the first i'm caring of so don't be such ridiculous and make it a BIG DEAL!

I'm desperate, I'm thirsty, I'm waiting patiently for the right time. Everything happened and if there are more to happen then come on! I have nothing more to lose but more to gain. I seriously hoping for the real  me to emerge from me. I was told i have it in me but it's not portraying yet. When is the right time? Please., tell me.

Weekday Blue

I miss all my firends already! What to do, they're all not around during holidays but for those who are coming back to join me i'm very glad you do and i am waiting very patiently!

I felt so bad that my friend actually broke up with his partner. It was believed that she lied to him and cheated on him. She has another guy with her well, of course, with out his knowledge with by coincidence my friend discovered. He said he is very fine with being single at the moment so i think you better be or else forget bout your status!

Is it me or what that i am not so obsessed with love this few weeks. Perhaps because i'm enjoying my time with games and of all i get to ravel but a very tiring one! Who gets the point? They... Oh wells. I just wish you can give me a peace of mind and let me enjoy now! You're like hunting me you know and it's not enjoyable to talk about it. Go away...

Oh, Masquerade ball is coming! I can wait no longer and i miss my boy!!! If you would show up that's the best but that's also the least i hope of. Please take good care of yourself while i'm away. Happy day!